Predator: 1987

Release date: June 12, 1987 (USA)

Director: John McTiernan

Sequel: Predator 2

MPAA rating: R

Screenplay: Jim Thomas, John Thomas

   There are a couple Schwarzenegger movies that I would put above all else. Running Man, The Terminator, Terminator 2: Judgment Day, Commando, Total Recall...Heck, I could keep going forever! It really is difficult when trying to choose a favorite among so many grade-A action titles.  Not many of his films have much in common with one another, besides the fact that most revolve around him, his imperviousness to bullets, and ability to throw one liners faster than you can get to the chopper. John McTiernan's "Predator" is no exception in this case. Schwarzenegger plays Dutch, an ex-commando dropped into the wild and forced to pit himself against an extra-terrestrial, heat visioned, tactical assassin! This is gonna be awesome.

   "Predator"! The classic tale of a muscle bound solider and his friends fighting for their lives against a cloaked...well...predator. To get an idea of how the film plays out, just picture any Friday the 13th film, add a jungle and much better direction, and preheat the oven to fully bake what would otherwise become known as a half baked movie trope. It really does follow this pattern of masked killer/body-count/assassin flick though. And that's not necessarily a bad thing! In fact, I find those movies quite entertaining. However, with the system being recycled so many times one tends to find the same premise rather boring IF all other elements surrounding the system are ALSO stale. This fortunately is not the case. "Predator" stays entertaining until the very end because it attempted to a very interesting combination of two genres of film: action and horror.

   It's great fun when you have two genres that work together so well! James Cameron attempted this in "Aliens", venturing far away from its predecessor and adding a whole new level of craft that continues to amaze me to this day. But I could talk for hours about the "Alien" franchise and I intend to do so...but that will be for another time. Bottom line, "Predator" is able to work on multiple levels, entertaining not only the horror fans with the predator's scary looking face and freaky sounding alien noises, but also the action fans with the great utilization of characters adding suspense, guns, bullets, and most important of all, explosions. 

  But the reason that I like "Predator" the most is because it's an entertaining film. It's really fun to watch, and if you've seen any Shwarzenegger film you should know what to expect. I understand that I have neglected to address any negative aspects about the film, but I have to explain something before I do. You either will like it or you won't. What I mean is, with a movie like "Predator" you have to judge it differently than you might judge "Chinatown" or "Terminator 2". "Predator" is something that shouldn't be taken too seriously, like most Shwarzenegger films. And I am in no way trying to suggest that movies like this are a novelty or expendable or anything like that. It's very good, and besides the dated special effects, I'd say it's pretty @#!*% good! In fact, that may be my only gripe with this film. I suppose the way the predator looks, the cloaking device, the cheesy acting and dialogue are getting in the way of me being able to rate it higher than I want it to. But I don't want that to be the case. Wanna know why? Because That's Why I Like It! 

7.5/10

Watch The Trailer Here

Next Review: Jack Frost 1998

The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension: 1984

Release date: August 15, 1984 (USA)

Director: W. D. Richter

MPAA rating: PG

Running time: 103 minutes

Music: Michael Boddicker

   On Cult Classic Theater I have reviewed many films, most of which many people have never heard of.  I'm not too good at keeping my reviews grounded to the title of my blog, "cult classic," and I'm not sure what I should do about that.  Regardless, I have still managed to broaden my perspective of the cinematic world, so in a way, I'm reaching past the former boundaries I've set for myself.  I like that.  I still enjoy this hobby I have made for myself and I hope to ,"stick with the program" for a couple more years if not more.  In case you are wondering why I'm not reviewing this film yet, it's because I have reached a certain mile stone for this blog.  a small feat, but a feat to be recognized at that.  So, I'm pleased to show you, "The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai:  Across the 8th Dimension."  This is my 50th review.

   But why this movie?  Well, Buckaroo Banzai links to my past in a certain special way.  I don't know...ya ever watched something as a kid, and then ten years later you watch it again and you get this overwhelming feeling of nostalgia from it.  One of these movies (or in this case, short films) was of "The Night on Bald Mountain," a short from the film, Fantasia.  Another one of these films is the one you're looking at, "The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai:  Across the 8th Dimension."  Who is Buckaroo Banzai?  The hero of our film, played by Peter Weller, is a race car driver...and a neurosurgeon...and a rock star.  He is awesome, and a likable character at that.  And that's the key word here;  likability.  Of course you would think to put this trait into any main character of a film, but with the other characteristics I have expressed to you about him, that might be a difficult feat to overcome.  Surprisingly, director W.D Richter, does this phenomenally well.  You have this guy who can do everything, but that can still come off as a realistic guy (for the most part).

     Our story is as follows;  everyman Buckaroo Banzai and his parents have created a rocket car (if you will) to jump into other dimensions using a device called The Oscillation Overthruster.  Buckaroo tests this device, and successfully drives...through a mountain.  Yes, through a mountain.  Actually, through a dimension inside of the mountain. However, upon re-entree to the third dimension, Banzai accidently brings back an alien or, "lectroid" artifact.  Buckaroo Banzai finds out later, with the help of his crew called, The Hong Kong Cavaliers, that what Buckaroo had witnessed was the 8th dimension, during a meeting about the technology that brought Banzai there.  He was contacted by, "black" Lectroids to be able to see the "red" Lectroid's because the red Lectroid's want to steal the Oscillation Overthruster, so that they can, "go home."

   W.D Richter's character of Buckaroo Banzai is, in a way satirizing all of the hero's in films and books.  The guy's that can have any woman they want, can do whatever he wants, everyone knows him, wants to be him, and approves everything he does. But, very differently, you still can see that Buckaroo is just a man. For example, Steven Spielberg takes a very different approach with the Indiana Jones Trilogy. Contrarily wise, THIS character is a jerk, but a doctor. He's rude, but heroic. However, the likability that is attached to Harrison Ford's character has to do with the duality of his character, and the choices he makes throughout the situations he comes across. So it really is up to you which of these, "every-men" you prefer.

      Our villain is good (for the kind of camp this film wants to emit) but he is aside the film itself, meaning that although he has more to do with the story, there is no connection between him and Banzai, suggesting that this villain won't be around for very long. I can think of one reason why they might have done this. Buckaroo Banzai was meant to have several films to its name. The fact that, "across the 8th dimension" was a subtext, is a hint to that. Supposedly each film would feature Buckaroo banzai, along with his crew, "The Hong Kong Cavaliers" going around saving the world from evil. I sounded cool. It also sounded like a serial. A serial is series of short films, or episodes, that would be played in theaters on a scheduled time of week or month, depending on cost of production. Often times, nearing the end of each episode, there would be a cliff hanger. You would have to wait until the next episode to see how the hero would escape the danger he was previously confronted by. Buckaroo Banzai never incorporated cliff hangers, but would have separate stories for each film (*ahem* Indiana Jones). Sadly, W.D Richter's next installed adventure for Buckaroo Banzai, "The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai: Against the World Crime League" never saw the light of day, although it was teased at the end of this film. I won't lie, I was so excited to watch that movie after finishing this one. You couldn't fathom.
    There are two ways I can look at this film: from a child's perspective, and from an analytical perspective. From a child standpoint, I really like this movie. But does that mean that it IS a good movie? no, of course not. The story is insane, the costumes are okay, I guess, Buckaroo has no weakness, so he isn't completely fleshed out as the film's hero, The Hong Kong Cavaliers have nothing that distinguishes their character besides their name, and what they wear, and it is a mess. But to this day I love every minuet of it. I'm sure fans of this film will agree that Buckaroo Banzai has its flaws, but what W.D Richter may have just been going for was a camp film. And guess what? It became a cult classic! So my blog title finally has one more percentage of meaning in its name. I hope that counts for something.

6.0/10

Watch the Trailer Here:

Next Review:  Plan 9 From Outer Space 1959

The Terminator: 1984

Release date: October 26, 1984 (USA)
Director: James Cameron
Music: Brad Fiedel
Rating: R (USA)
Story by: William Wisher Jr.


   "The Terminator."  How can you be as menacing and to the point as this name?  And with a name so simple, who would have guessed there would be a bigger theme here?  World domination, sure.  World destruction, defiantly.  But this film only sets up these  key points during the very end of the third installment of the series.  What the very first film provides for us  is the foundation that the audience will refer back to when the next two films hit the scene.  But what James Cameron didn't realize was that this film would be the beginning of a franchise of films.  Lets meet our cybernetic organism from the future, "The Terminator."

   It goes something like this.  In 2029 Jon Connor is the leader of the remainder of the human race.  Skynet, a self aware super computer, has unleashed its robotic military to exterminate the human race, and Jon is the only one who can save us all.  Learning about this, Skynet sends a Terminator (Arnold Shwarzenegger) back in time to the year 1984 to kill Sarah Connor (Linda Hamilton) so that she doesn't give birth to the savior of mankind, Jon Connor.  That is friggin awesome!  "The Terminator's" story line is defiantly one of the more positive parts of the film, and this was proven through the three other films that spawned from it, as well as a T.V show.  James Cameron might not have seen it at the time, but other directors knew that this concept was ripe for expanding upon in the world of cinema.  I believe that each film was made by a different person, and this is a very interesting notion because even though each film fits together with the last (for the most part) they each take things in a slightly different direction.  I think that this film had a less of an impressive budget, so it can be excused for it lack of action, (although it had allot)  but I also think that it had the most tension, mainly due to the fact that there was no hope for anyone to survive in this film (especially Sarah Connor).

   This is why I like the movie a lot.  Sarah Connor is essentially a normal person, and does not seem the type that would raise the savior of mankind.  But because of this, it is very realistic that she would have to grow into the role.  She would have been able to do this naturally through the course of time, but because of time travel, things go haywire and our character is thrown into a conflict that she herself cannot face alone.  Sarah has not prepared herself to mentally handle the fact that Cyborgs will be coming back from the future to destroy her.  I'll be honest, I might not take news like that too well, which is why Sarah Connors character is very likable:  because we connect with her and the way she would respond to the situation that she is thrown into.  This is what sets this film apart from the rest of the franchise, and would (for awhile at least) be the only origin story of Sarah Connor.  

   The effects in this film are something quite special.  Although primitive by today's standards, back then it looked very good.  As for myself, I like them, but this is another reason why this particular film differs from the others.  James Cameron utilizes stop motion very well,  as well as an animatronic replica of Shwarzenegger for close ups of of his robo- interior.  These scenes are very impressive, being that there is no form of CG anywhere in it. 

   For now, this would be a modest film.  But when James Cameron got enough money to make the sequel he always wanted, people started paying attention to to this film.  And when this second film hit theaters, it became a huge success and was thus transformed into a cult classic.  To this day, T2 is on my top ten list of films.  I love it.  But as for this one, I can confidently say that it was an interesting start to a huge successful franchise.  I only hope that for science fiction fans alike, we can go back to this film and respect it for what it's worth today.  If you've looked past this film because of the sequel, let me remind you that T2 would not be here without T1, because all the film really is in the end, is an opening act for the first installment.  But remember, that doesn't excuse you from passing it up.  You could never have fathomed what you would have missed if you had.

7.7/10

Watch the full movie here

 Next Review:  The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension 1984 

Batman: 1989

Release date: June 23, 1989 (USA)
Director: Tim Burton
DVD release date: March 25, 1997
Rating: PG-13 (USA)
Screenplay: Warren Skaaren, Sam Hamm

   Batman:  The Caped Crusader, The Dark Knight, and even in some cases, The Dynamic Duo.  Bob Kane's creation of Batman has done nothing but evolve since Detective Comics had Batman appear for the first time in 1939 with the release of their 27th issue.  It featured Bruce Wayne as Batman against a Chemical Crime Syndicate, and it blew up in everyone's faces!  They had to know more.  However, today only a couple of copies of these very early Batman Comics still exist today, and we wouldn't see this darker side of Batman until much later.  In my opinion, these were Batman's best days, when not just crooks, but cops were afraid of Batman, and nobody could touch him besides the super crime lords that were as crazy as him.  In a sense, Batman first started out as an anti-hero, and I believe the new movie, "The Dark Knight Rises" will bring Batman's legacy full circle.  So in light of that, I have decided to review the Batman films by Tim Burton first, because this was technically the first feature-length film of Batman, with the darkest setting...so far.


   Being the fact that I have not yet expressed my admiration for Tim Burton, this review should be a deal lengthier than my previous reviews.  Let me start off by saying that Tim Burton is the strangest director I know, and has created by far the most films where you, as a viewer, shift uncomfortably in your seat, of run out of the theater screaming because he broke your mind, or you haven't been able to look away because his style is incredibly original, and unlike anything you have seen.  His visual style is sublime, his directing...strange to say the least, and a homage payer to many old horror films, and films in general.  The first of Tim Burton's works that I had reviewed, called "Vincent", was a great character study for Tim Burton, and if you know a great deal about him, you realize that Vincent, is really just Tim as a child.  But, if at this point in the review your asking why "Vincent" isn't posted on the site yet, it's because terrible things happen to reviews if you leave your computer on while the auto-save function temporarily glitches.  I suppose these things happen...

   However, I am prepared to write about some of the less appealing aspects that Tim Burton possesses.  "Batman" is a wonderful example of how Tim Burton can take an idea already thought up, and put his own spin on it.  Now, Tim has done this with the majority of the films he's directed, and as such he has been dubbed "The Remake King"...which isn't necessarily a good thing.  But don't worry, because "Batman" is an example of how an idea can  be made into a film, and not feel like it's been overused.  I'm not sure, but I think that this Batman film was one of the first of its kind to be made into a motion picture.  But there was a difference between this film, and the ones made before it.  This Batman film was made more for adults than for kids.  I believe this heightened ticket sales, as well as creating a wider audience to discover the Batman universe in, since Batman just began to convert to slightly darker story lines in the comics with the arrival of new artists.


  Batman teamed up with this kind of a director was a godsend to the film industry, as well as Batman fans.  The film presented a very dark setting (but not too dark), and this was one of Burton's specialties.  The city of Gotham was as stylistic as it was strange, but I suppose it had to be because Bat's and Clown's would be fighting in it.  Speaking of which, The Joker is an interesting character in this film.  Consider the scene with Vicky Vale (Kim Basinger) hostage to the clown.  Joker (Jack Nicholson) explains that his...psychosis...is more of an artistic one.  It's not so much as doing something because you can, rather sending a message through abstract destruction...because you can.  And it is an interesting notion, as well as one that would be plausible to The Joker, because of the deformities created by the mishaps in the Ace Chemical co.  And this is a very interesting foe against foe origin in this film, because if you think about it, they are each the creator of their own alter ego.  Young Jack Napier (Jack Nicholson) kills Bruce Wayne's (Michael Keaton) parents causing him to become The Batman, and Batman pushes Jack into the infamous vat of acid, thus transforming him into The Joker.    

   This is truly the plight of Batman.  The idea that he may be creating more villains than he  can take off the streets of Gotham (If he's doing more harm than good).  Many people have touched on this theory, and have understood its significance.  Heck, even the animated series recognized the power within this thought.  This is also the reason why I believe Batman to be more of an anti-hero than a hero, but it fits his character and Gotham and especially this film.  Tim Burton's Batman is a very good movie, and it captures the struggles a crime fighter of this caliber must face.  It's dark and edgy, and brought out, not my likability of the horror genre, more so my...tolerance for it.  There are some campy moments, some funny ones, but at the center you'll find a stone cold flick worth checking out if your any kind of a Batman fan. 


8.0/10

Watch the Trailer Here

Next Review:  Batman Returns  1992  

          

The Last Crusade: 1989

   Here we are.  The last Indiana Jones film.  Well...almost, but I'll address that later.  The year was 1989, and Steven Spielberg and George Lucas had finished, what was then the last rendition of Indiana Jones' adventures.  The chronicle was coming to a close, and they decided to end on a high note.  Well, they did, and although not as good as the first film, it came in at a close second.  My guess was that, they went back to the basics.  They had a chance to experiment, and it did well, however you can see that they played it safe with this film.  It goes back to biblical artifacts, like the first film, and uses the same villains, the Nazi's.  Hopefully this review won't become too identical to that of, "Raiders of the Lost Ark,"  but I'll try to finish strong with our third film in the franchise entitled, "Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade."  Enjoy.


   Remember how I said that the only two films that would include character development, was this one, and the fourth one.  I suppose that before the trilogy ended, the film makers decided to give Indiana Jones some character.  But, why?  Was it to show us that he once had a past?  Well, you could say that because the opening scene does show us young Indiana Jones, and his struggle to keep an ancient artifact,  The Cross of Coronado, away from some archaeologists that obviously only wanted it for the money.  But that's been the general plot of the other films, so they're basically rehashing something we already knew about.  Nevertheless, The opening to, "The Last Crusade" is a very engaging one, even though it technically gives us no new information whatsoever.  But lets start with the actual plot of the film.

   The film is set in 1939, and the plot involves our hero searching for The Holy Grail, which the film described as, "The challis used by Christ during the last supper."  It was explained that whoever found the grail and drank from it, would be endowed with immortality.  Who wants the grail?  Why the Nazi's of course!  Who's trying to get to it before they do?  Why, Indiana Jones!  So, the story really just follows Raiders,  but with a few extra tweaks to the characters and the plot.  However, I like that they generally make these characters useless during the climax of the film where Jones is chasing the tank, because it adds more tension to the film.  It's like Indy's carrying everyone on his shoulders, and you really want to see him clear this last hurdle.  Now, there is a very important character that Indy brings along in this film.  That man is his father.

          Dr. Henry Jones is played by Sean Connery,  and I think that doing this was a fantastic choice.  Although not helping in the action packed parts of the film, (his earlier career took care of that) other than just accompanying him, he does provide the bantering necessary to give exposition without annoying the audience.  I don't know, I think it's his voice.  Jones' father is meant to provide us with (you guessed it) more character development!  Oh, and the reason that he's in this film, if you were wondering, is because he was captured by the Nazi's, to help them find the holy grail.  Jones explains to Donovan that, "Grail-lore is his hobby."  My only complaint with his character is that, although he appears in some quirky action scenes, it does weaken his quote on quote, "badassedness."  But nonetheless, while viewing the film, Sean Connery did add allot of fresh material for Indiana Jones to work with in the film, and at least I was able to care about him.

   Dr. Elsa Schneider is our damsel in distress, in, "The Last Crusade."  I believe that adding this character was very smart.  She is intelligent, knows her history, and pretty.  She seemed like a formidable candidate for Jones to save.  That is until we get a twist in the film, and find out who she really is.  Don't worry if you haven't seen the film I won't spoil it.  Anyway, I did like the including of this twist, because it was what really separated itself from, "Raiders of the Lost Ark."

Note:  The only reason that I am not writing a paragraph on the villain,is because I would just be repeating my paragraph from my, "Raiders of the Lost Ark" review.  There is also another twist...


It's that time of the review where I pick apart the film's action scenes.


1.  The opening chase scene on the train:

"Quick!  Derp face...activate!"

2.  The fight on the boat, during the storm:

"Oh no...I didn't get that joke...who are the aristocrats?"

3.  The speedboat chase scene in Italy:

"Wait...I don't even KNOW how to drive a boat!"

4.  Marcus Brody is captured

"Ohhhh man... Something's about to go down.  I just know it!"

5.  The Jones escape in a sidecar from the Nazi's

"AIRPLANE!"

6.  The Jones boys escape the Nazi blimp with the plane

    "What happens at eleven o-clock?"

7.  Jones saves his father, and Marcus from a tank

  Suddenly the gravity of the situation sinks into Indy's head...

"Dad, you really seem less of a badass lying down like that." 

8.  The three trials

  

   So, that's the Indiana Jones franchise for you.  They are simply, well made, highly budgeted, action/adventure films.  Every time I watch them I enjoy them, and if you haven't heard of these films, check them out.  At times the culture can be a little racist, and the characters loud and obnoxious, but films like this are meant to have some cut-outs.  I think this aspect works, because the whole reason Spielberg and Lucas made these films was to pay homage to the classic adventure serials such as Flash Gordon, and movies like, "Treasure of the Sierra Madre."  Heck, if you've ever wondered how George Lucas came up with the idea to have a chapter recap of the last film in the Star Wars films, take a look at, "Flash Gordon Conquers the Universe."

     Look Familiar?

   But, I'm not here to write about Star Wars.  I just wanted to take you back to a time where something as action and adventure-packed could be made.  Never again would we see something like this.  After the three films, it would be the last we would ever see of an attempt to recreate the yesteryear's of cinema...

...at least that's what we thought

8.4/10

Next Review:  Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull  2008

The Temple of Doom: 1984

 
   This is, "Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom," the sequel to its incredibly high grossing successor, "Raider's of the Lost Ark."  By now Indiana Jones had developed a recognized name.  In order to cash in on his name while continuing his adventures, this film was made in 1984, by director Steven Spielberg, and writer/director George Lucas.  Sadly, this film went the way of the less amusing sequel.  However, it's a fair addition to our hero's adventures, and I will explain why.  Welcome to my review of "The Temple of Dooooooooooooooom!"


   "Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom," is about our hero accidentally traveling to India and into a small village where he is pressured into retrieving a sacred rock which our film calls a, "Shankara Stone."  It is told in the film that there are three of these stones in total, and that when brought together, can unleash a great power.  Now I think that the film makers sat down and asked themselves, "what's worse than a Nazi?"  And one guy must have just said, "...um a...Cult Leader?"  Or, something like that.  And I'm not lying either! The villain is a cult leader, and his idea of fun is...going around villages stealing...rocks...

   
   Actually this is probably the most creative villain in the Indiana Jones trilogy, because this guy is totally insane!  Any scarred person would do what he does and love it.  Look at his face!  You know that he's got no shame in the line of work he's taken up.  I'm sure that once his, "term" as cult leader is up, he won't hesitate to add, "worked four years teaching voodoo to a young maharajah, lead hundreds of cult followers, and practiced hundreds of long lost Thugee rituals which involved a cage that looked like a waffle iron, the most efficient method of heart surgery, and a pit of death," to his resume.  Wait, do cult leaders even have terms, or is it a life commitment thing?  So then, what do they do when you get too old?  Do you, the cult leader, go into the waffle iron or do you just leave the cave.  But wait, how could you have gotten past all of the traps?  wait, if the traps were set up to keep trespassers out, then did the cult followers have to sexually harass a statue before entering the cult every time?  Alright.... whoa...we are going way off track here.  Next, lets talk about our supporting cast, Willie Scott, and Short Round.

   
   Willie Scott is this film's, "damsel in distress."  She first appears in the very beginning of the film, covering the title!  You think, "well, this could be interesting.  She can act, she's a stage performer, and she can speak Mandarin!  It's very different from Marian's character in the first film, but I can see liking this character a lot."  Yea, she's the most annoying character Iv'e ever had the pleasure of knowing.  It's all great until she starts talking, and then it's all down hill from there.  You don't really care about her at all throughout the film, and it really doesn't help that she gets captured and almost sacrificed and all  your thinking is, "Alright, the sooner she gets offed, the more time this film has left to redeem itself."  I know that they might have been thinking if they make her character more reckless, the more pressure it will have on Indiana Jones in order to save her.  But it doesn't work if the audience doesn't care about her!  Willie Scott is the worst damsel in distress of the series, and it really begins to dawn on you halfway through the film.  All she does is complain, and you'll hear, "IIIIIIIIIInnnnnnnnddddddddiiiiiiiii!" more than any other line of dialog.  

   
   Short Round was a character thrown into the whole side-kick mix of things to make the film appeal more to children.  This is also the character who will spew more catch phrases than Spiderman!  Okay, well maybe not that much, but read some of the catch phrases he's got in his short, round head:

1. Okey dokey Dr. Jones!  Hold on to your potatoes!"
2. Wow!  Crash landing!"
3. "Ha Ha Ha!  Very funny!  Ha Ha Ha!"
4. "Hang on lady, we going for a ride!"
5. "He no nuts." "He's crazy!
6. "You say to stand against the wall! I listen to what you say! Not my fault! Not my fault!"

   But, regardless, it does seem like Short Round was the actor that had the most fun with his role, and he's actually less annoying than Willie Scott.  However, I don't that his character was treated well.  Although Indy takes Short Round under his wing, after sparing him when trying to pickpocket him, Short Round doesn't appear in the next Indiana Jones Adventure.  This begs the question, "What happened to Short Round?" Well here are some possibilities:  Indy ditches Short Round on the elephant in the Indian village.  The Indian woman who shared a great deal of interest in Short Round when they arrive in the town kidnaps him.  Indy sells Short Round to the village leader.  Or, Short Round dies when the ship is blown up in the beginning of the third film. 

Alright, it's that time in the review again where I recount the action scenes in the film.  Lets get started.

1.  The restaurant in Shanghai and the car chase

"Here, hold my watch.  I need to take care of some guy looking at me funny." 

 "I don't have a name for it...but...It's the new way to travel."

2.  The plane crash and sliding down a mountain, into a river, and off of a waterfall on a raft.

"Do I have something stuck in my teeth?"

"THIS IS HIGHLY IMPROBABLEEEEEEE......"

3.  Jones is attacked in his room

 "Yes, Dr. Jones.  Once I kill you with this deadly piece of string, your stylish hat will be all mine.....MMMUUUHHHAAAHHHHAAAHHAAA!"

4.   OHH NOO!  BUGS AND SPIKES!

"Alright folks....who wants to bet one of those bugs is gonna fly right down her throat?"

"Hey man, you told him to stand against the wall."  "It's not his fault."

5.  The Thuggee ceremony    

"This place has, "sacrilege" written all over it!"

6.  Jones and Short Round get tortured

"Pucker up, buttercup!"

7.  Willie Scott is sacrificed

ORANGE OVERLOAD!!!!!!!!!

8.  Jones fights the muscle

"Ahhhhh!  I BID MY DOUNGE!"

9.  Mine cart escape

"Weeeeeee!  We're all gonna die!"

10.  Climax on the Bridge

"WWWHHHAAATTT?!?!?"

   Well, that concludes all of the action sequences in, "Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom."  I have to say that this was the most violent, strangest, and most culturally offensive of the three films.  The sad part was that, for the longest time, I thought that this was the only Indiana Jones film that existed when I was younger.  This was because, believe it or not, it was the only Indiana Jones I had seen, and was one of the only films, IN SCHOOL, I watched as a child.  Yes, my elementary school actually showed us this film, not just once, but several times!  I suppose that they could argue that they couldn't show the first or third film because those films mostly focused on sections of the Bible.  But, regardless, this was a very good addition to the Indiana Jones franchise.  And if you want to learn a bit more on the whole cult aspect of the film, there do exist other movies that use Thuggee traditions, such as the film, Gunga Din. Well, thank you for reading, and I hope that you will read my next review from the franchise entitled, "Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade!"

8/10

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Next Review:  Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade  1989 

Raiders Of The Lost Ark: 1981

   What can you say about Indiana Jones?  He's one of the most recognized icons of the action/adventure film genre!  Women want him, just as much as men want to become him.  He's the epitome of masculinity, lives a very classy home-life, and atop that, he's a collage professor with his own PhD!  In my opinion, Indiana Jones was film director Steven Spielberg's greatest creation.  And, here I am now, a mere 30 years after the first film was released to talk about all of them.  Yes, even that one that proved that if a refrigerator is lead-lined you can survive an atomic blast while inside it.  Welcome to my reviews of...The Indiana Jones franchise!  First on the list:  Raiders of the Lost Ark!


  Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark is about an Archaeologist/Doctor named Henry Jones Jr. ('Indiana' is more of an alias), who goes on expeditions in order to retrieve ancient historical artifacts and put them in museums.  The artifact he is searching for in this film is from Jewish religious history called , "The Ark of the Covenant," which the film explains as the chest the Hebrew used to carry around the Ten Commandments with.  However, in order to keep the film from becoming a religious documentary, Spielberg added some extra-fantasy elements to the realism of it.  The film explains further, that whoever carries the ark is invincible because they will have with them, "the destructive power of god."  So, the films revolves around the conflict between Indiana Jones finding the artifact before the villains do.  Who are the villains you might ask?  Why only the worst of the worst, Nazi's!

   It's kind of a match made in heaven.  A keeper of the past to preserve power is threatened by the very people that want to harness it for world domination!  I suppose that this way they thought that, instead of wasting time trying to get the viewer to hate the villain, they'd just make em' Natzi's!  Well, alrighty then.  There's really not much left to say about the villain in this film, only because they don't waste time on it.  These films never really were about character development (if you don't count the third and fourth film) and I think it should have stayed that way.  The villain is the villain because he's a Natzi.  The hero is the hero because he carry's a whip, and wears a fedora and leather jacket.  The damsel is the damsel because she is young, gets captured or is stuck in a dangerous situation.  Its massive appeal to most action/adventure going audiences.  It was simple, so it worked.

   Now I'm not going to spend an entire paragraph talking about Indiana Jones himself.  Instead lets start with our female lead, Marian.  Out of the two female leads in the three films, I think Marian is the best.  She's smart, pretty, gambles, strong, and can hold her liquor.  It really seems like a good match for her to be next to our hero, because they're very much the same.  You might be asking, "what about the whole, 'opposites attract' deal?"  Well, they did try doing something like that in the second film...and... I'll save that for the next review.

  The action sequences are the highlights of the Indiana Jones films.  It goes to show that Spielberg is the master of the action adventure genre.  In this Paragraph I'm going to count all of the action sequences.

1.  The South American Temple to retrieve an idol, and being chased by the giant boulder

The 'Indiana Jones' moves into, "Predator Stance"

   "Who put that boulder there?!"

2. Escaping from the Natives.

"Maybe if I'm real quiet, no one will notice the huge ripple of water giving me away."

3.  The fight inside Marian's tavern

 "I should get insurance on this place...y'know...in case anything happens to it"

4.  The fight outside of the town where Salah lives

"Maybe if I do that thing I saw in, 'The Matrix," I could dodge the bullet..."

5.  Marian and Jones in the snake pit

"Snakes...Why'd it have to be snakes...?"

6.  The fight around the plane with the turret

Indiana Jones Vs. German Muscle...Fight!

If you give a girl a turret, then she will go insane

7.  Jones on horseback hijacking the truck with the Ark in it

"It's surprising how many other action films rip this scene off" 

8.  The Ark unleashes its powers

"That's the biggest math problem I've ever seen in my life..."

   Anyway, that concludes my review of the first Indiana Jones film.  It really is a masterpiece of film making, and you wonder how such a simple premise could be so involving.  This is probably the best of the three films, and it really does show.  The quality of the sets are amazing, and there is as much care put into them as a Star Wars set.  I even think that George Lucas had some influence on the architecture, instead of simply the witting.  Well, that about does it, and I intend to go through all of these films, analyzing and evaluating as I go.  I'm looking forward to my next review of, "Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doooooooooooooooooooooooooooom!"


9/10

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Next Review:  Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom  1984